ADHD in children: how to recognize it, support it, and help your child thrive

Your child can’t sit still at dinner. Homework turns into tears. Mornings feel like chaos on repeat. You start to wonder if this is just childhood energy or something more.

Many parents reach this question exhausted, unsure, and sometimes afraid of what a diagnosis could mean. The truth is, ADHD in children doesn’t always look like what you expect. It’s not just “hyper kids.” Sometimes it’s the quiet daydreamer, the forgetful one, or the child who feels everything more deeply than others.

Let’s talk about what’s really happening beneath the behavior and how understanding it can change everything.

In case you’re new here, I’m Michelle Holdeman, founder of New Connections Mental Health, a team of dedicated therapists helping kids, teens, and families navigate emotions and attention challenges with compassion and play.

Our practice integrates play therapy to help children express, explore, and regulate emotions through movement, creativity, and imagination. This approach transforms therapy from a task into a safe space for discovery and connection.

Our goal is to help kids and teens strengthen focus, build confidence, and develop emotional awareness while giving parents the tools to breathe again.

What is ADHD in children?

Understanding ADHD beyond stereotypes

ADHD in children (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) isn’t about bad behavior or a lack of discipline. It’s a neurodevelopmental condition that affects attention, impulse control, and emotional regulation. Children with ADHD process information differently; their brains are wired for movement, creativity, and intensity.



According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 7 million children in the United States, representing 11.4% of those aged 3 to 17, have been diagnosed with ADHD. Boys are diagnosed more often (15%) than girls (8%), and there are racial and ethnic differences too. Black and White children (12%) are diagnosed more often than Asian children (4%), while American Indian/Alaska Native (10%) and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander (6%) children fall in between. Overall, non-Hispanic children (12%) are diagnosed slightly more often than Hispanic children (10%), according to CDC data.

These numbers remind us that ADHD is not limited to any background or group. It’s a condition that touches families everywhere, and understanding it early can change the course of a child’s life.

How ADHD develops

ADHD often begins in early childhood, typically showing up between ages 3 and 6. It isn’t caused by parenting, diet, or technology; it has to do with how a child’s brain processes stimulation and focus.

The CDC also found that about 6 in 10 children with ADHD experience moderate or severe symptoms. Children who also live with another condition, such as anxiety, depression, or learning difficulties, tend to have more severe ADHD. This overlap explains why support should be individualized and multifaceted rather than one-size-fits-all.

Recognizing ADHD in different ages

ADHD in toddlers (ages 2–4)

In toddlers, ADHD can appear as constant movement, short attention spans, or emotional outbursts that seem out of proportion. Some impulsivity is typical at this age, but what matters is consistency.

If your child rarely engages in quiet play, climbs in unsafe ways, or seems perpetually on the go, a developmental specialist can help you understand whether it’s part of normal growth or something more.

ADHD in early school years (ages 5–8)

At this stage, ADHD symptoms often become clearer. Trouble sitting still, frequent forgetfulness, blurting out answers, or difficulty finishing work are common signs. Teachers are usually the first to raise concerns because the classroom makes those differences visible.

ADHD in pre-teens (ages 9–12)

As expectations increase, children with ADHD may struggle to stay organized, manage time, or control emotions. They can start feeling lazy or bad when in reality their brain simply works differently. Without understanding, frustration can turn into shame and low confidence. Early support prevents that cycle.

Types and symptoms of ADHD in children

The three primary types of ADHD

1. Inattentive type: daydreaming, disorganization, losing track of instructions, and forgetfulness.
2. Hyperactive-impulsive type: constant motion, excessive talking, interrupting, or acting before thinking.
3. Combined type: a mix of both attention and impulse control challenges.
   
   

Recognizing the type helps parents, teachers, and therapists tailor strategies that meet each child’s unique needs.

Do ADHD symptoms improve with age?

How the brain matures over time

As the brain develops, hyperactivity may decrease, but focus and organization challenges often persist. The CDC reports that nearly 60% of children with ADHD continue to experience significant symptoms as they grow, especially when another emotional or learning condition is present.

Understanding this helps families prepare long-term. The goal isn’t to fix a child with ADHD but to help them build systems, self-awareness, and confidence that let them thrive.

Why support matters early

ADHD doesn’t disappear, but early, consistent support can change a child’s story and how they see themselves. Through play therapy, kids learn how to direct energy, sustain focus, and regulate emotions, all skills that will serve them through every stage of life.

How play therapy supports children with ADHD

What makes play therapy different

As one of the few certified Play Therapy specialists in Western Kansas, Michelle uses play not as a reward but as a developmental tool. Play becomes a structured space where children practice emotional control, problem-solving, and communication in ways that feel natural to them.

Play therapy helps children with ADHD experience success through creativity and connection rather than correction. It helps shift behavior from impulsive reaction to mindful expression.

How play therapy works

Play therapy sessions are customized for each child. A play therapist observes the themes, choices, and emotional patterns that emerge through the child's play. Every session becomes a window into how a child experiences the world.

Through gentle guidance, play therapists introduce new coping strategies like naming emotions, pausing before acting, or completing small tasks that strengthen attention and regulation. Over time, children begin to internalize these tools, transferring them into daily life at home and school.

What ages benefit from play therapy

Play therapy is most effective for children between 3 and 12 years old, the stage when emotional learning happens primarily through imagination and interaction rather than conversation.

For younger kids, play provides the language to express what they can’t yet say. For older children, it becomes a bridge between emotional experience and self-awareness, helping them connect thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

What parents can expect

Parents play a vital role in the process. Your play therapist will meet with you to explain what behaviors to observe, how to respond to emotional triggers, and how to reinforce progress at home. Many parents find that therapy gives them the language and confidence to handle daily challenges without conflict or guilt.

The goal isn’t perfection, it’s connection. Over time, families notice calmer routines, fewer power struggles, and more moments of genuine understanding.

When to seek extra help

Signs it’s time for a professional evaluation



• Persistent inattention or impulsivity across multiple settings
• Emotional outbursts that last beyond the moment
• Difficulty keeping friendships or handling transitions
• Ongoing academic struggles despite effort

If these patterns sound familiar, an evaluation can provide clarity and relief. Understanding what’s happening allows parents to focus on support instead of frustration.

What diagnosis looks like

An evaluation typically includes behavioral observation, input from parents and teachers, and standardized assessments. The goal isn’t to label, but to understand how a child’s brain works and to create a plan that fits their rhythm. When families understand the “why,” they can finally find the “how.”

Helping your child thrive with ADHD

At New Connections Mental Health, we believe every child deserves to be understood and supported in the way their brain learns best. Through compassionate guidance and play-based strategies, Michelle helps families build focus, confidence, and emotional balance that last.

If your child shows signs of ADHD or if you’re simply ready to understand their world a little better, learn more about play therapy, and schedule a consultation today. With the right support, children with ADHD don’t just adapt, they flourish.